My name is Phoenix Kelley (most people call me Nix) and I live a largely non-traditional life. I have a large tattoo and several piercings, I live in an intentional community with my blended family, I am genderqueer nonbinary and identify with the trans community, and I am usually quite visibly queer. My hair is probably turquoise when you see me.
I am a co-parent to five kids, two of whom are adults and one of whom is not yet two years old. My life is lived with the waxing and waning of the moon and with the cycle of the seasons.
I have a blend of chronic illnesses that sometimes stack on each other to be a bigger problem: I have Ehlers-Danlos (EDS), Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia (POTS). Essentially, I have to be careful and know my limits, and I carry my meds with me everywhere — and usually also a knitting project.
I am a very logistical thinker and take great pride in project planning. I am also an easy crier, and may drip my own tears onto my shirt while caring for and holding space for whatever it is that you most need.
I am training to be a jack-of-all-trades clergyperson: I am a Seeker on the Path of Light with Renewal Coven, an oathbound mystery tradition of British traditional witchcraft. Among other things, my experience being part of this tradition has taught me how to be quiet, how to be honest, how to speak truth, and when it is time to let go. My gods and ancestors are a near and intrinsic part of living. My core belief system is based on the praxis of speaking no untruth, the power of reciprocity and restorative justice, and the belief that each must be free to choose.
My hope is to serve a marginalized community that has multiple intersections of identity: queer people, pagan people, people in non-traditional relationships, people with chronic illnesses, neurodivergent people, people on the edges of their communities.
About this Work
For several years, I’ve known that I was being drawn to work with the dying and those that love them and will grieve when they go. In my own life, I’ve had much grief, and the experience of being crushed but not broken gives me a perspective I don’t think I would have been able to develop otherwise.
In 2020, I trained with the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA), a wonderful organization that has been a gift and a resource for me as I find my way through to serve those that need me.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, I will be offering this work by phone, text, email, messages, and video calls. Until it is safer for us all, I will continue to shelter in my own home and do as much for you remotely as I am able.
Although the work has slowed down a lot during this very long fallow period during the pandemic, I support spiritual specialists through Anchor & Fox Consulting, and write about the shared experience of doing the Work at A Bigger Shovel.