Reciprocity, ghosti, or gebo, is at the heart of my spiritual practice and my way of working.

Reciprocity requires that all the people involved understand that each of them has worth, and that their worth is intrinsic to who they are. It can be difficult for people living in a capitalist society to understand how meaningful reciprocity can be, until they have a chance to experience it. Reciprocity is not just transactional, it is a way of seeing and valuing what each person brings to a given situation, and acknowledges that compensation is a way of keeping the balance of reciprocity between those people.

Because each situation is unique, there is not an easy way to be exact here about what it may cost to hire me as your death doula. I accept payment plans, reciprocity that is non-financial, and other combinations that you and I might create together.

Here are some examples of what reciprocity may be expected:

First conversations are always free of charge, and there is no obligation to continue with my services after this first conversation.

Logistics, such as planning out wills, advance directives, rituals, and vigil plans, may cost $300.

Focused support, such as managing people and needs during the vigil plan and active dying, and text or phone/video call support during the experience of active dying, and follow-up time to reprocess grief, may cost $750.

Creating a project — such as a legacy project — which could include audio, video, photos, text, and other intangible details, may cost $500 and take up to two months after the death to be completed and ready to give to the designated family member. A memorial website, physical scrapbook, or a dedicated external hard drive with images, audio, and video snippets are examples of projects.

Processing grief after a loved one has passed, as part of your personal experience, may cost $150 and consist of two to three phone conversations. I am not a licensed professional counselor, psychiatrist, or therapist, and my ability to hold space for grief comes from my clergy and doula training.

If there is long travel associated with my work with you, I may ask for lodging to be covered or for a travel reimbursement.

These are examples of the kind of services and potential attendant costs associated with them, but you and I can be as creative as possible when building the experience and support that is most needed. I recognize that there are situations where cost is heavily weighted against need, and other situations where cost is not a hindrance to need. What I want for you is a balance to these things, so that this is not an extra burden during this intense and heavy time.